5 Things Parents Shouldn't Say to Their Kids

It's no secret that parents should pay attention to how they communicate with their children.Even tiger moms and parents following theFrench style of raising children could agree that what we say to our kids -- and how we say it -- matters. Tiger moms and French parents get the results they want largely because of what they say. But besides using words to get kids to do what they want, how moms and dads communicate with their kids directly impacts the parent-child relationship long term. And it's the simple statements parents make, usually in a moment of frustration with their young children, which can cause the most damage later on. 

Related: 8 things you should never say to a mom 

"Words hurt and they can't be taken back, so be careful" says Debbie Pincus, a therapist, parenting coach and author of "The Calm Parent: AM & PM." Team Mom on Shine asked Pincus and other parenting experts about the most common phrases that moms and dads say to young kids in the midst of parental panic. Don't feel bad if you've said them -- most parents have! "We're human. Our lives are crazy and sometimes we don't give ourselves time to pause and think," she says. "We don't want to be so careful that we're not authentic. We're real. Be passionate with your kids, be real, say what's on your mind. Say it passionately. Just be conscious and responsible, no matter who we talk to." Pincus adds that calm is contagious and better things come out of our mouths when we stop ourselves from reacting in the moment. 

The bottom line is that as parents, we're teaching our kids how we want them to behave in similar situations; modeling the desired behavior is key. Check out what Pincus and others had to say about five things parents shouldn't say to kids--and how to turn a moment of frustration into a positive life lesson. 

"I don't care." Little kids love to share details...of their playground conversations with friends, of the cloud formation they think looks like a sea serpent, of why they squeezed an entire tube of toothpaste into the bathtub. And sometimes? Parents just don't want to hear the specifics. But beware of saying "I don't care!" because you're cutting off communication with your child and saying that something important to him or her isn't so important to you. "Most parents have a difficult time once children reach the adolescent stages and complain that their teens are not communicative with them. Well, the question must be asked then, 'How has the parent-child communication been nurtured throughout the child's life?'" says Melinda Garcia, a licensed clinical social worker with ESCAPE Family Resource Center in Houston. "The process of parent-child communication must evolve positively over the years. There's an unspoken trust that occurs when communication is nurtured." Try this: Garcia recommends that parents let the child know an issue can be discussed later, perhaps at a better time when the parent is more focused. She stresses, however, that parents must follow through. "Don't let the day end without addressing your child's need to share with you."
"Act your age!" 
Your daughter is seven years old but you think she's acting like she's three...and you tell her so. Pincus says this common reaction is less about the child's behavior and all about the parent trying to manage his or her own frustration. The child may, in fact, be acting their age. "It's just not working out for the parent," she says. "It makes us feel better in the moment." The result? Kids hear their parents criticizing them at a time when they, as children, are having trouble and perhaps need some help gaining control. Try this: Says Pincus, "When you are stirred up, just take that pause. Come up with an effective response instead of a reaction. Most of what we do is a knee-jerk reaction. That pause helps to get that adrenaline down so you can get the thinking part of your brain working instead of the emotional part of the brain." 

"Say you're sorry!" Your preschooler takes a toy from another child and makes him or her cry. You instantly tell your child to say sorry for his or her actions. You're trying to teach your child to be compassionate, which is a laudable goal. But "forcing a child to apologize does not teach a child social skills," says Bill Corbett, a parent educator, author, and producer/host of the parenting TV show "Creating Cooperative Kids." Young children don't automatically understand why they have to apologize. Corbett says that if parent forces a child to say they are sorry, "it could delay the child's natural acceptance" of apologizing. Try this: Apologize to the child for your kid as a way to model the behavior you're trying to encourage. And make sure that when you're in situations where an apology is warranted, you deliver it just as easily. 

"Don't you get it?" 
You've taught your kid how to catch a baseball five times over. Or how to add and subtract fractions. But when your child shows signs that it's not clicking for him or her, you hastily ask, "Don't you get it?" Learning specialist and author Jill Lauren tells Team Mom on Shine that this comment is degrading. "If the child 'got it,' which he desperately wants to do in order to please his parent, it would be clear. Implicit in a 'don't you get it' comment are the judgments of 'Why don't you get it?' followed by 'What's wrong with you for not getting it?' While a parent may not mean to send those messages, that is the message the child receives." Try this: Take a break. If you're stuck on how to teach your child something, step away. Return to the "lesson" when you're ready to try again, perhaps after researching alternative approaches to teaching whatever it is your child is trying to learn. 

"I'm going to leave without you!" 
Your kid refuses to leave the toy store or a park and you are going to be late for an appointment. So you issue an ultimatum sure to freak your child out: "I'm going to leave without you!" For young kids, fear of parental abandonment is very real. But what happens when your threat doesn't work? "The biggest problem is that we want our kids to believe what we say. For a whole host of reasons, we need our kids to believe us. If you want them to believe what we say is true, we cannot say something that is patently false," says Deborah Gilboa, a family doctor, parenting speaker, and mom of four boys. The result is that the child quickly learns that mom or dad makes empty threats. "Parents say it because they don't know what else to do...it's a bad idea," says Dr. Gilboa: "You need to strive not to make empty threats. If you plant a flag, you have to defend it...say what you mean and follow through." Try this: Don't tell your kids you're going to leave without them. Instead, plan ahead. Chances are high that you've seen your child behave this way before. You know what will trigger a tantrum. What will you say if your child throws a fit or refuses to leave? "It's okay to identify unacceptable behavior," says Dr. Gilboa. "You can tell them it's not acceptable but you have to motivate them with a consequence that you can carry out." 


Reference from : http://shine.yahoo.com/team-mom/5-things-parents-shouldnt-kids-171300904.html

Activity for children

Movement and Music Activities for Toddlers

Your toddler learns a lot from moving and listening to music. Visit theActivities Centerfor more fun and games!

Music and Rhymes Coffee Can Drum Easter Egg Maracas Jingle Bell Roller Jingle Toes Kazoo Row, Row, Row Your Boat Round and Round the Garden Grandmother's Glasses I Hear Thunder Snowflakes Walking through the Jungle Ten Little Gentlemen Five Little Mice Running and Jumping Run to the Ribbons Race Me Where to Jump Jumping High Monkey Business

Movement Balloon Fun Seesaw Pile Them High Beanbag Races Beanbag Toss Dance and Fall Down Dance Ribbon Climbing Practice Tense and Release Toddler Train Let's Pretend Follow the Leader Coordination Batting Balls Crazy Walk Cross the River Magic Tube Walk the Plank Moving So Carefully

Read more on FamilyEducation:http://fun.familyeducation.com/toddler/music/37371.html#ixzz1fH3LU7Hy

Tips for picky eaters

Children's nutrition: 10 tips for picky eaters

Children's nutrition doesn't have to be frustrating. Consider these strategies to avoid power struggles and help the picky eater in your family eat a balanced diet.

By Mayo Clinic staff

Has your preschooler refused to eat anything other than chicken nuggets for the past two days? Or would your toddler rather play than eat anything at all?

If children's nutrition is a sore topic in your household, you're not alone. Many parents worry about what their children eat — and don't eat. However, most kids get plenty of variety and nutrition in their diets over the course of a week. Until your child's food preferences mature, consider these tips for preventing mealtime battles.

No. 1: Respect your child's appetite — or lack of one

If your child isn't hungry, don't force a meal or snack. Likewise, don't bribe or force your child to eat certain foods or clean his or her plate. This might only ignite — or reinforce — a power struggle over food. In addition, your child might come to associate mealtime with anxiety and frustration. Serve small portions to avoid overwhelming your child and give him or her the opportunity to independently ask for more.

No. 2: Stick to the routine

Serve meals and snacks at about the same times every day. Provide juice or milk with the food, and offer water between meals and snacks. Allowing your child to fill up on juice or milk throughout the day might decrease his or her appetite for meals.

No. 3: Be patient with new foods

Young children often touch or smell new foods, and may even put tiny bits in their mouths and then take them back out again. Your child might need repeated exposure to a new food before he or she takes the first bite. Encourage your child by talking about a food's color, shape, aroma and texture — not whether it tastes good. Serve new foods along with your child's favorite foods.

No. 4: Make it fun

Serve broccoli and other veggies with a favorite dip or sauce. Cut foods into various shapes with cookie cutters. Offer breakfast foods for dinner. Serve a variety of brightly colored foods.

No. 5: Recruit your child's help

At the grocery store, ask your child to help you select fruits, vegetables and other healthy foods. Don't buy anything that you don't want your child to eat. At home, encourage your child to help you rinse veggies, stir batter or set the table.

No. 6: Set a good example

If you eat a variety of healthy foods, your child is more likely to follow suit.

No. 7: Be creative

Add chopped broccoli or green peppers to spaghetti sauce, top cereal with fruit slices, or mix grated zucchini and carrots into casseroles and soups.

No. 8: Minimize distractions

Turn off the television and other electronic gadgets during meals. This will help your child focus on eating. Keep in mind that television advertising might also encourage your child to desire sugary foods.

No. 9: Don't offer dessert as a reward

Withholding dessert sends the message that dessert is the best food, which might only increase your child's desire for sweets. You might select one or two nights a week as dessert nights, and skip dessert the rest of the week — or redefine dessert as fruit, yogurt or other healthy choices.

No. 10: Don't be a short-order cook

Preparing a separate meal for your child after he or she rejects the original meal might promote picky eating. Encourage your child to stay at the table for the designated mealtime — even if he or she doesn't eat. Keep serving your child healthy choices until they become familiar and preferred.

If you're concerned that picky eating is compromising your child's growth and development, consult your child's doctor. In addition, consider recording the types and amounts of food your child eats for three days. The big picture might help ease your worries. A food log can also help your child's doctor determine any problems. In the meantime, remember that your child's eating habits won't likely change overnight — but the small steps you take each day can help promote a lifetime of healthy eating.

Nutrition for kids and website for reference

Good nutrition is the bedrock of lifelong health, and it begins in infancy. Healthy eating can stabilize children’s energy, sharpen their minds, and even out their moods. Unfortunately, kids are bombarded by messages that can counteract your efforts. Between peer pressure and the constant television commercials for junk foods, getting children to eat well might seem more futile than fruitful.

However, there are simple steps that parents can take to instill healthy eating habits in their kids, without turning mealtimes into a battle zone. By encouraging healthy eating habits now, you can make a huge impact on your children’s lifelong relationship with food and give them the best opportunity to grow into healthy, confident adults.

Developing healthy eating habits

Children develop a natural preference for the foods they enjoy the most, so the challenge is to make healthy choices appealing. No matter how good your intentions, trying to convince your eight-year-old that an apple is as sweet a treat as a cookie is not a recipe for success! However, you can ensure that your children’s diet is as nutritious and wholesome as possible, even while allowing for some of their favorite treats.

The childhood impulse to imitate is strong, so it’s important you act as a role model for your kids. It’s no good asking your child to eat fruit and vegetables while you gorge on potato chips and soda.

Top tips to promote healthy childhood eating

• Have regular family meals. Knowing dinner is served at approximately the same time every night and that the entire family will be sitting down together is comforting and enhances appetite. Breakfast is another great time for a family meal, especially since kids who eat breakfast tend to do better in school.
• Cook more meals at home. Eating home cooked meals is healthier for the whole family and sets a great example for kids about the importance of food. Restaurant meals tend to have more fat, sugar, and salt. Save dining out for special occasions.
• Get kids involved. Children enjoy helping adults grocery shop, selecting what goes in their lunch box, and preparing dinner. It's also a chance for you to teach them about the nutritional values of different foods, and (for older children) how to read food labels.
• Make a variety of healthy snacks available instead of empty calorie snacks. Keep plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grain snacks, and healthy beverages (water, milk, pure fruit juice) around and easily accessible so kids become used to reaching for healthy snacks instead of empty calorie snacks like soda, chips, or cookies.
• Limit portion sizes. Don’t insist your child cleans the plate, and never use food as a reward or bribe.

How can I get my picky child to enjoy a wider variety of foods?

Picky eaters are going through a normal developmental stage, exerting control over their environment and expressing concern about trusting the unfamiliar. Many picky eaters also prefer a “separate compartmented plate,” where one type of food doesn’t touch another. Just as it takes numerous repetitions for advertising to convince an adult consumer to buy, it takes most children 8-10 presentations of a new food before they will openly accept it.

Rather than simply insist your child eat a new food, try the following:

• Offer a new food only when your child is hungry and rested.
• Present only one new food at a time.
• Make it fun: a game, a play-filled experience. Cut the food into unusual shapes.
• Serve new foods with favorite foods to increase acceptance.
• Eat the new food yourself; children love to imitate.
• Have your child help to prepare foods. Often they will be more willing to try something when they helped to make it.
• Limit beverages. Picky eaters often fill up on liquids instead.
• Limit snacks to two per day.

Persuading children to eat more fruit and vegetables

Making mealtimes playful can mean healthier eating for your kids. Here are some fun, creative ways to add more fruit and vegetables to your child's diet:

• Top a bowl of whole grain cereal with a smiley face: banana slices for eyes, raisins for nose, peach or apple slice for mouth.
• Create a food collage. Use broccoli florets for trees, carrots and celery for flowers, cauliflower for clouds, and a yellow squash for a sun. Then eat your masterpiece!
• Make frozen fruit kabobs for kids using pineapple chunks, bananas, grapes, and berries.
• Go food shopping with your children. Let them see all the different fruits and vegetables and have them pick out new ones to try.
• Try fruit smoothies for a quick healthy breakfast or afternoon snack.
• Add vegetables and fruits to baked goods – blueberry pancakes, zucchini bread, carrot muffins.
• Add extra veggies to soups, stews, and sauces, grated or shredded to make them blend in.
• Keep lots of fresh fruit and veggies washed and available as snacks. Apples, pears, bananas, grapes, figs, carrot and celery sticks are all easy to eat on the run. Add yogurt, nut butter, or tahini for extra protein.

Limit sugar and salt

One of the biggest challenges for parents is to limit the amount of sugar and salt in their children’s diets.

Limiting sugar

The American Heart Association recommends that sugar intake for children is limited to 3 teaspoons (12 grams) a day. Cutting back on candy and cookies is only part of the solution. Large amounts of added sugar can also be hidden in foods such as bread, canned soups and vegetables, frozen dinners, ketchup, and fast food.

• Don’t ban sweets entirely. Having a no sweets rule is an invitation for cravings and overindulging when given the chance.
• Give recipes a makeover. Many recipes taste just as good with less sugar.
• Avoid sugary drinks. One 12-oz soda has about 10 teaspoons of sugar in it, more than three times the daily recommended limit for children! Try adding a splash of fruit juice to sparkling water instead.
• Cut down on processed foods, such as white bread and cakes, which cause blood sugar to go up and down, and can leave kids tired and sapped of energy.
• Create your own popsicles and frozen treats. Freeze 100% fruit juice in an ice-cube tray with plastic spoons as popsicle handles. Or try freezing grapes, berries, banana pieces, or peach slices, then topping with a little chocolate sauce or whipped cream for an amazing treat.

For further reading, http://helpguide.org/life/healthy_eating_children_teens.htm

More website for reference on the same topic.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/recipes-for-kids/MY01341
http://www.first-school.ws/theme/nutrition.htm
http://www.choosemyplate.gov/tipsresources/printmaterials.html

Behavioral management of children

Temper Tantrums: Guidelines for Parents

By Robert G. Harrington, PhD
University of Kansas

Every teacher of young children and every new parent can expect to witness some temper tantrums in children from age 1–4 years. On average, temper tantrums are equally common in boys and girls, and more than half of young children will have one or more per week.

At home, there are predictable situations that can be expected to trigger temper tantrums, such as bedtime, suppertime, getting up, getting dressed, bath time, watching TV, parent talking on the phone, visitors at the house, family visiting another house, car rides, public places, family activities involving siblings, interactions with peers, and playtime. Other settings include transitions between activities, on the school bus, getting ready to work, interactions with other children, directives from the teacher, group activities, answering questions in class, individual seat work, and the playground.

Characteristics of Temper Tantrums

All young children from time to time will whine, complain, resist, cling, argue, hit, shout, run, and defy their teachers and parents. Temper tantrums, although normal, can become upsetting to teachers and parents because they are embarrassing, challenging, and difficult to manage. On the other hand, temper tantrums can become special problems when they occur with greater frequency, intensity, and duration than is typical for the age of the child.

There are nine different types of temperaments in children:

• Hyperactive temperament predisposes the child to respond with fine- or gross-motor activity.
• Distractible temperament predisposes the child to pay more attention to his or her surroundings than to the caregiver.
• High intensity level temperament moves the child to yell, scream, or hit hard when feeling threatened.
• Irregular temperament moves the child to escape the source of stress by needing to eat, drink, sleep, or use the bathroom at irregular times when he or she does not really have the need.
• Negative persistent temperament is seen when the child seems stuck in his or her whining and complaining.
• Low sensory threshold temperament is evident when the child complains about tight clothes and people staring and refuses to be touched by others.
• Initial withdrawal temperament is found when children get clingy, shy, and unresponsive in new situations and around unfamiliar people.
• Poor adaptability temperament shows itself when children resist, shut down, and become passive-aggressive when asked to change activities.
• Negative mood temperament is found when children appear lethargic, sad, and lack the energy to perform a task.

Developmental Issues

At about age 1 1/2 some children will start throwing temper tantrums. These bouts of temper tantrums can last until approximately age 4. Some call this stage the terrible twos and others call it first adolescence because the struggle for independence is similar to what is seen during adolescence. Regardless of what the stage is called, there is a normal developmental course for temper tantrums.

One-and-a-half through 2 years old. Children during this stage will test the limits. They want to see how far they can go before a parent or teacher stops their behavior. At age 2 children are very egocentric and cannot see another person’s point of view. They want independence and self-control to explore their environment. When children cannot reach a goal, they show frustration by crying, arguing, yelling, or hitting. When children’s need for independence collides with the parents’ and teachers’ needs for safety and conformity, the conditions are perfect for a power struggle and a temper tantrum. The temper tantrum is designed to get the teacher or parent to desist in their demands or give them whatever they want. Many times children stop the temper tantrum only when they get what is desired. What is most upsetting to caregivers is that it is virtually impossible to reason with children who are having a temper tantrum, and arguing and cajoling in response to a temper tantrum only escalates the problem.

Three-year-olds. By age 3 many children are less impulsive and can use language to express their needs. Tantrums at this age are often less frequent and less severe. Nevertheless, some preschoolers have learned that a temper tantrum is a good way to get what they want.

Four-year-olds. Most children have the necessary motor and physical skills to meet many of their own needs without relying so much on an adult. At this age, children also have better language that allows them to express their anger and to problem-solve and compromise. Despite these improved skills, even kindergartenage and school-age children can still have temper tantrums when they are faced with demanding academic tasks and new interpersonal situations in school.

Prevention for Parents and Teachers

It is much easier to prevent temper tantrums than it is to manage them once they have erupted. Here are some tips for preventing temper tantrums and some things you can say:

• Reward children for positive attention rather than negative attention. During situations when they are prone to temper tantrums, catch them when they are being good and say such things as, “Nice job sharing with your friend.”
• Do not ask children to do something when they must do what you ask. Do not ask, “Would you like to eat now?” Say, “It’s suppertime now.”
• Give children control over little things whenever possible by giving choices. A little bit of power given to the child can stave off the big power struggles later. “Which do you want to do first, brush your teeth or put on your pajamas?”
• Keep off-limit objects out of sight and therefore out of mind. In an art activity keep the scissors out of reach if children are not ready to use them safely.
• Distract children by redirection to another activity when they tantrum over something they should not do or cannot have. Say, “Let’s read a book together.”
• Change environments, thus removing the child from the source of the temper tantrum. Say, “Let’s go for a walk.”
• Choose your battles. Teach children how to make a request without a temper tantrum and then honor the request. Say, “Try asking for that toy nicely and I’ll get it for you.”
• Make sure that children are well rested and fed in situations in which a temper tantrum is a likely possibility. Say, “Supper is almost ready, here’s a cracker for now.”
• Avoid boredom. Say, “You have been working for a long time. Let’s take a break and do something fun.”
• Create a safe environment that children can explore without getting into trouble. Childproof your home or classroom so children can explore safely.
• Increase your tolerance level. Are you available to meet the child’s reasonable needs? Evaluate how many times you say, “No.” Avoid fighting over minor things.
• Establish routines and traditions that add structure. For teachers, start class with a sharing time and opportunity for interaction.
• Signal children before you reach the end of an activity so that they can get prepared for the transition. Say, “When the timer goes off 5 minutes from now it will be time to turn off the TV and go to bed.”
• When visiting new places or unfamiliar people explain to the child beforehand what to expect. Say, “Stay with your assigned buddy in the museum.”
• Provide pre-academic, behavioral, and social challenges that are at the child’s developmental level so that the child does not become frustrated.
• Keep a sense of humor to divert the child’s attention and surprise the child out of the tantrum.

Intervention for Parents and Teachers

There are a number of ways to handle a temper tantrum. Strategies include the following:

• Remain calm and do not argue with the child. Before you manage the child, you must manage your own behavior. Spanking or yelling at the child will make the tantrum worse.
• Think before you act. Count to 10 and then think about the source of the child’s frustration, this child’s characteristic temperamental response to stress (hyperactivity, distractibility, moodiness), and the predictable steps in the escalation of the temper tantrum.
• Try to intervene before the child is out of control. Get down at the child’s eye level and say, “You are starting to get revved up, slow down.” Now you have several choices of intervention.
• You can positively distract the child by getting the child focused on something else that is an acceptable activity. For example, you might remove the unsafe item and replace with an age-appropriate toy.
• You can place the child in time away. Time away is a quiet place where the child goes to calm down, think about what he or she needs to do, and, with your help, make a plan to change the behavior.
• You can ignore the tantrum if it is being thrown to get your attention. Once the child calms down, give the attention that is desired.
• Hold the child who is out of control and is going to hurt himself or herself or someone else. Let the child know that you will let him or her go as soon as he or she calms down. Reassure the child that everything will be all right, and help the child calm down. Parents may need to hug their child who is crying, and say they will always love him or her no matter what, but that the behavior has to change. This reassurance can be comforting for a child who may be afraid because he or she lost control.
• If the child has escalated the tantrum to the point where you are not able to intervene in the ways described above, then you may need to direct the child to time-out (see “Resources”). If you are in a public place, carry your child outside or to the car. Tell the child that you will go home unless he or she calms down. In school warn the child up to three times that it is necessary to calm down and give a reminder of the rule. If the child refuses to comply, then place him or her in time-out for no more than 1 minute for each year of age.
• Talk with the child after the child has calmed down. When the child stops crying, talk about the frustration the child has experienced. Try to help solve the problem if possible. For the future, teach the child new skills to help avoid temper tantrums such as how to ask appropriately for help and how to signal a parent or teacher that the he or she knows they need to go to “time away” to “stop, think, and make a plan.” Teach the child how to try a more successful way of interacting with a peer or sibling, how to express his or her feelings with words and recognize the feelings of others without hitting and screaming.

Post-Tantrum Management

• Never, under any circumstances, give in to a tantrum. That response will only increase the number and frequency of the tantrums.
• Explain to the child that there are better ways to get what he or she wants.
• Do not reward the child after a tantrum for calming down. Some children will learn that a temper tantrum is a good way to get a treat later.
• Never let the temper tantrum interfere with your otherwise positive relationship with the child.
• Teach the child that anger is a feeling that we all have and then teach her ways to express anger constructively.

When to Get Help

For parents. If, despite the use of these interventions, the tantrums are increasing in frequency, intensity, or duration, consult your child’s doctor. You should also consult your child’s doctor if the child is self-injurious, hurtful to others, depressed, showing signs of low self-esteem, or is overly dependent on a parent or teacher for support. Your pediatrician or family physician can check for hearing or vision problems, chronic illness, or conditions such as Asperger’s syndrome, language delays, or a learning disability, which may be contributing to your child’s increasing temper tantrums. Your physician can also direct you to a mental health professional who can provide assistance for you and your child.

Resources

Agassi, M. (2000). Hands are not for hitting. Minneapolis: Free Spirit. ISBN: 1575421127.

Greene, R. W. (1998). The explosive child. New York: Harper Collins. ASIN: 0060175346.

MacKenzie, R. (2001). Setting limits with your strongwilled child. New York: Prima. ISBN: 0761521364.

Nelson, J. (1999). Positive time-out and over 50 ways to avoid power struggles in the home and the classroom. New York: Prima. ISBN: 0761521755.

Reichenberg-Ullman, J., & Ullman, R. (1999). Rage-free kids. New York: Prima. ASIN: 0761520279.

Website

Cambridge Center for Behavioral Studies— www.behavior.org (See Effective Parenting)

Robert G. Harrington, PhD, is a Professor in the Department of Psychology and Research in Education at the University of Kansas and has trained teachers and parents in behavior management of children and adolescents.

© 2004 National Association of School Psychologists, 4340 East West Highway, Suite 402, Bethesda, MD 20814—(301) 657-0270. Reprinted from Helping Children at Home and School II: Handouts for Families and Educators (NASP, 2004), available from the NASP Bookstore.

referred from : http://www.nasponline.org/resources/behavior/tantrums_ho.aspx

Pre writing skill

Almost every preschool website has its own version of "tracing worksheets". Almost every dollar store and superstore has for sale a "letter workbook". Most moms have the idea that this is the method kids should use to learn to write their letters and numbers. But, if you have ever tried this approach, you know it can be frustrating for everyone involved. Tracing worksheets have their place and can be great learning tool for some children, I have just found a process that has worked better for our kiddos.
While working with our occupational therapist, I have learned a lot about teaching our kiddos how to write their letters and numbers. I have learned that it is all about a process. Each level is a building block for the next level. It isn't until after they have learned the proper formation of the letters and numbers, that tracing worksheets are introduced. And even then, I had to discover the "perfect" tracing worksheets.Beginning writers need larger letters and thicker lines to learn how to correctly form letters. The famous tracing worksheets do not offer this. Using start and stop dots along with spacial boxes, a child is guided as they learn. Using this sequence along with the Letter Formation Chants and Number Rhymes will help your child succeed!

Step #1 - Holding a Pencil Correctly

The first step to nice handwriting is a correctly pencil hold. To help teach this, place a kleenex or small sponge in the child's palm. Have the child hold the kleenex or sponge with their ring and little finger. Then, using a "fat" pencil, help the child hold the pencil with their thumb and first two fingers. Having to hold the kleenex as well as the pencil will help the child keep the correct form.
Helping the child hold a pencil correctly begins half way through the 2 Year Curriculum. At this point, some children will not be ready for this activity and that is okay. Be careful not to frustrate the child while doing this activity. Continue to work on fine motor activities to increase the child's fine motor control.

Step #2 - Pre-Writing

If your child can not follow a straight, diagonal, or circular line, they will not be able to form letters. Using a yellow marker or highlighter, draw 3" vertical lines. Move to horizontal, diagonal, and circles as your child is ready. Add a green dot for "go" and a red dot for "stop". Help them place their pencil on the green dot, draw along the yellow, and stop at the red dot.

    

The ABCJLM Pre-Writing Worksheets are also available to print.
Straight Lines Worksheet
Horizontal Lines Worksheet
Diagonal Lines Worksheet
Drawing Lines Review Worksheet
Circular Lines Worksheet

Pre-Writing Worksheets can also be helpful. These worksheets teach a child the concept of tracing lines. I would suggest that you trace the lines with a thick yellow marker (to make them wider) along with adding the green and red dots at the beginning and the end.
Lil Bunny Hops
Kidzone
Preschool Learner Pre-Writing Worksheets

Step #3 - 3" Letters

Once the child has mastered the basic lines and circles, you can move to Step #2. Using a thick yellow marker or highlighter, draw 3" tall letters or numbers across a horizontal paper. Start with just one character on a page at a time. Add a green dot at the starting point of each character and a red dot at the finishing point. Most letters have more than one starting and ending point. Just draw the first starting and ending point. Once the formation is mastered, take away the yellow line, red dot and then finally the green dot. Progress to smaller and thinner lines. Be sure to say the Letter Formation Chants and Number Rhymes as you form the characters. These will help the child learn and remember the correct formation.

The 3 Year Curriculum focuses on tracing the letters with the index finger until the second half of the curriculum. At that point, the child slowly begins to write their name using capital letters only. Follow the same process as stated here using the letters in their name.

Step #4 - Large Tracing Lines

After the child is able to correctly form the 3" characters with the green starting dot only, place the characters on the classic tracing lines. I color-coded the lines to help in the letter formation. The middle line is green since many lower case letters start on the middle line and end on the bottom (red) line. The top line is blue. Draw the characters in yellow with the added the green and red dots for each letter and number. For this step, take away the yellow line first, red dot second, and finally the green dot when the child is ready.
Start with the wider lines and progress to the small lines.
Blank Tracing Line Worksheet - Wide
1" Blank Tracing Line Worksheet - Medium
3/4" Blank Tracing Line Worksheet - Narrow
Now you are ready to work on keeping the letter uniform. For this I have created tracing worksheets.

Step #5 - ABCJLM Tracing Worksheets

All of the ABCJLM worksheets are created in four ways to help children improve fine motor skills and handwriting: 
1. Letters or Numbers - These are the basic worksheets with a place to copy over the letter or number and then write it.
2. With Boxes - Beside each letter or number is a box that gives the child a specific space to write the letter.
3. With Green Dots - The green dot shows the child where to begin the letter.
4. With Green & Red Dots - Inside each box is a green and red dot. The green dot shows the child where to lay their pencil while the red dot means stop. Best printed in color but can be printed with black dots if the colors are no longer needed.Worksheets:
ABC Worksheets - These worksheets include both uppercase and lowercase letters.
Number Worksheets - Numbers 1-20
Letter & Number Progression - These worksheets group letters and numbers together to help the child see the connection between the formation of similar letters and numbers. These worksheets are the basis for the 4-Year Curriculum letter and number order.
Links:
Printable Worksheets - Links to free printable worksheets and sites that allow you to create your own handwriting worksheets
Downloadable Font - Download handwriting font to your computer. This allows you to make your own handwriting worksheets.
Ebook: Handwriting Ebooks Review to come soon!Misc: