Montessori, age 24-36 months

Bedroom

The child at this age can have their own bed. If it is too high and you are scared they may fall, a mattress can still be put on the floor for if when the child falls, but you may notice that when this happens once the child will learn from that experience.

Toys can each be separated by its type in a basket that will contain all of its parts. Allow your child to be able to see what they are choosing to play with without really making a mess. Children at this age need external order to be able to develop their own sense of internal order. Have his toys in a low shelf where they can access it easily if they choose to. At this stage teach your child to put things away when they are finished. This also lets them contribute to the order in their environment. Make cleaning up a habit as early as now as these are good habits to be maintained for life.

Have a small drawer for your child’s clothes. This will allow them to choose what they want to wear for the day as they may start to show their preference. Give your child limited choices so they will still dress appropriately for the weather. For example give them a choice between a red or blue jumper for winter. If they are unable to choose then simply choose for them.

Bathroom

By now there should be a bedtime routine to include bathroom time. This is the time they may sit on the potty, wash their hands and brush their teeth. For the child to have access to the sink and potty, have a small light weight stool that the child can stand on. Have this lightweight so they can move it around to where they need it.

Place their toothbrush and toothpaste in such a way that they can access it themselves. Have a child sized toothbrush and toothpaste placed in order of sequence of use in a tray. From left to right have the toothbrush then the toothpaste and a cup placed neatly on a tray for the child to use.

For bath time, have a small bottle of shampoo and soap for the child to be able to use for himself. Children enjoy pouring/squeezing soap out of a bottle and seeing bubbles made. Put a small amount of shampoo or soap in the bottles such that there will be no waste if they decide to pour it all out. When the child is in the bath have a small bag/net that hangs over the bath for their toys to dry. This bag will also be good in teaching your child to put away his toys by himself. Have a towel rack that is low enough for your child to put their towel for their use. See Toothbrushing Activity.

Living area

In this area one can have one small shelf for his toys that he/she may use when with the family. One can also have a child sized wooden table and chair for the child to be able to use for his work/play. They can use large sizes crayons or other mediums for craft also accessible to the child. One can decide to have painting available but this might be best for the outdoor as the mess may be harder to clean for indoors.

You can also provide a small rug or mat for the child to work on instead of the table. This then contains their work to a certain area.

Dining Area

At this stage the child can eat the food that the family has. The child may also have meals with the family so that he/she can also observe the proper social aspect of eating meals. Your child can be placed in a high chair together with the family near the table to have a sense of belonging. If possible have the child using the same table as the family is. Remove the table that secludes him and have him pushed up on the family table.

The child can also choose to eat in his own table and chair. A child can have his own access to a low drawer in the kitchen which can contain his own utensils and plate. The utensils and plate need not be plastic and can be real lightweight crockery. The glass can also be real. If the child is taught how to care for things properly, handle things with care, they may surprise you. If the child chooses to eat at his low table there should be no fear for glasses to break as it a short distance to the ground. This can also teach the child how to take care of their own plates and glass and spoons and forks.

A placemat with drawings of the plate, spoon, fork and glass can be drawn on it as a guide for table setting. See Pouring a drink activity.

Montessori ‘Toys’ and Materials

Books are always a must for any stage of the child’s development. Choose books that may have one or two sentences that are describing the scene on the page. Books with long stories may not hold their attention for very long. Choose books that are relevant to their everyday life. Their interest will be held if it is something that relates to them and they see everyday. This can include topics about their daily routine.

As always choose books that are realistic and have the whole picture or image. This will teach the child of how things really are. Montessori says fantasy can be introduced to children after 3 years old.

Practical life

Montessori observed that children wanted to help in the upkeep of their own environment. She then developed practical life activities. This can be activities that adults do everyday that children see and may want to imitate. It can be as simple as sweeping, mopping and dusting, or as complex as washing dishes, or clothes. For the home one can have a child sized broom and dustpan and mop. Children like to clean up. As soon as they may see a mess, direct them to where you may logically keep the mop and show them how one does it properly, if they do not already know from watching the adult. When showing children a particular activity always exaggerate your actions so they will not miss details of performing that simple task that we as adults may take for granted. Ask your child to help with the smallest tasks as putting the clothes in the wash, wiping up their own table after themselves, putting dishes in the dishwasher, mopping, sweeping, and dressing themselves.

Care for self

These are activities such as dressing oneself, by being given the chance to try to put on their own clothes, and shoes. This can be practicing with Velcro, zips and buttons that are found in their own clothes.

Hand-washing

When showing your child how to wash their hands, prepare the materials. Make sure the sink is accessible to them and a soap and towel nearby. Hopefully the taps are easy to turn on for the child without any adult help. Show them to only turn on the taps slightly, not too much water to avoid wasting water. This is also a small lesson in care for the environment. Take some soap and make sure to emphasize the bubbles that are made. Rub your hands slowly and in between each finger, the palm and the back of the hand for a thorough clean. Point out the bubbles made. Rinse your hands also with great emphasis making sure all the bubbles are gone. And dry your hands making sure every part of the hand is dried, in between the fingers.

Care for the environment

As mentioned earlier, have child sized brooms, mops cloths (for wiping the table) and sponges to allow the child to clean like they adults do.

A small watering can that the child can carry himself can also be used. Teach the child where they can get water for themselves and to walk very carefully when carrying the watering can so as not to spill water. You can have a small sponge that goes on the tip of the spout to prevent this from happening with younger children. The plants to be watered can be potted indoor plants or in the backyard garden.

Food preparation

This is the most fun and relevant for most children. Food is always interesting for children and preparing what they will eat might even make them eat more since it makes them part of the process and enjoy the meal much more. These activities can be done on the child sized table or on the kitchen bench and having a stool for the child to stand on.

This can be as simple as teaching the child to butter their own toast, washing fruits, cut up fruit and even peel vegetables. These activities need to be prepared so that it will be successful for the child to accomplish and safe for them as well. Food contraptions that make things easier, like apple peelers, avocado/ apple slicers are the best way to involve your child in food preparation as it makes things easy enough for children.

Spreading jam/butter on toast or crackers

Have a small plate, small knife and small container that the jam will be placed in. Place a bit of jam that will be enough for one piece of toast or cracker on the small container. This will ensure that there will be no waste of food if the child decides to use all that is available. Always show the child slowly how to spread it on the jam emphasizing small details such as taking a little bit of spread, and making sure the whole of the toast is covered. See Food preparation activities.

Banana Slicing

This will involve a small cutting board, a small butter knife, small food tongs and a small bowl. Depending on the abilities of your toddler, ask them to peel to banana by making a small cut already for them and asking them to simply pull down on the peel. As the peel is completely off, ask the child to discard it properly. Take the banana and lay it on teh cutting board. Slowly take the knife and cut the banana in bite size peices. Emphasize on the cutting motion or pushing the knife down. GIve your chidl a turn. If they do nto cut the banana in the right size due to the difficulty for them, it is normal. They will get more adept later on as they practice more. After all of the banana is cut, take the tongs and put each banana piece to the small bowl from where it can be eaten.

As the chidlren get older and slicing has become an easy activity for them, children can also slcie with a small sharp knife cucumbers, ripe tomatoes, squash, eggplants, and other soft vegetables.

Apple slicing

This involves using an apple slicer that can be foudn in shops. We need a cutting board, a sharp knife for the adult, tongs and a small bowl. Take the apple and cut it in half horizontally, this will make the apple be on teh board for the chidl laid on a stable flat side. Lay the apple on teh flat side and take the apple corer on the apple, push the corer a little bit to show your child how to push down. Start it for them adn let them continue. You may help by placing your hands over theirs. Once it is cut all the way through, use the tongs to take the core out to be thrown and the rest of the apple in the bowl.

Language

Language explosion often happens at around the age of 2. This is when children almost miraculously starts to talk in sentences and has increased their vocabulary by tenfold. One should then support this by teaching the child more vocabulary and becoming a good language model. The child will start parroting words that you will say, so be careful with what you say and how you say it. The child also does not need to have baby talk and changing to a high pitched voice when you talk to your child is unnecessary. Talk to them like you would to another person. Speak to them clearly so they can absorb what you are saying to them.

When children at this age misarticulate some words, do not correct them. This may make the child fearful of trying new words but instead model it. Say it again after them when you reply. This will let them know of their mistake without being shamed.

Talk to children about things in complete sentences. Try to explain why things are so they will understand. The best language model they can have is the adult.

Montessori , age 12-24 months

Montessori ‘Toys’ and Materials

At this point children are able to grasp things and their eye hand coordination develops more. Give your child one or two piece wooden puzzles. Do not give them things that are too difficult, give them things that they can accomplish with a bit of trying/effort. Give them as wells rings of different sizes that need to be placed on a rocking base according to size.

Wooden blocks are always good. At first they will just enjoy watching you build them and knocking them down. It will be a bit later that they will be stacking them up higher and higher. The blocks need to be just cubes but other shapes as well to allow for creativity.

Give your child a crayon and paper. Have a small tray in which the child can contain their paper in and a small cup with a big crayon or block crayon for easy handling. This will also make the clean up easier if they draw out of the paper. Have the background of the tray in a dark color so they can see the contrast from the paper. As a progression you can give other mediums such as thick toxic free markers, and colored pencils. Show how to properly grip pens and focus drawing only on paper.

Drop boxes using balls or various shapes as it practices their grasp and intentional release to put things in. Have a dowel with a stable base and have things around the house that are rings, such as bangles and napkin rings for variety.

A child at this stage loves inserting things into things. The best for them would be a real key with a lock that is relevant in a room. Cabinet locks and others. This will also motivate the child to be able to stand up with support/leaning on the cabinet to reach the lock. One will always be surprised at the determination a child will show to be able to get this activity right.

As your child becomes more adept with using their hands give the child a basket or box of things that can be opened and closed. This can be small zip bag, a container with studs, Velcro and snaps. As an added challenge when the child gets older add small screw tops bottles from old discarded plastic bottles/containers.

Language

At this stage children are learning to communicate. They may say their first intentional word at 12 months. We need to encourage this development by constantly talking TO the child not AT the child. We do not just talk to them to tell them what to do but also to tell them about the things around them and how things are going.

Use books, singing, and rhymes to encourage their vocabulary. Talk to them slowly and clearly this allows them to hear each sound that has been made.

To encourage language one should try not to over anticipate their needs. Give the child a reason to communicate, and often the first would be their needs/food. Do not always respond to your child as they point and whine to something they want. Name the item they want before giving it to them then later on they will know what it is called and use the proper word for it. As the child learns that there is name for each object, they may start to point to things and wait for a reply from the adult as to what it is called.

Favourite topics that children will have at this age are animals and the sounds they make, food, body parts, and transportation.

There is also no need for baby talk, name things properly and specifically. It is not just a flower but it is a red rose. The earlier you expose the child to such vocabulary the easier it will be for them to absorb such language that will be evident in the later years.

This is also a good time to teach your children manners, saying “please” and “thank you” when appropriate.

You will also observe that a child’s receptive language, language that they understand, is more than their expressive language. So continue to talk to them and you can already ask them to do things for you at this stage as the child becomes more independent and their movement abilities have increased.

Montessori 3 Period Lesson

Maria Montessori had a method to teach vocabulary to children; she called it The 3 period lesson. This is best done with real objects, for example have 3 types of fruit in season, vegetables, clothing or utensils. Other can be realistic objects (miniatures of animals) that can be found in any toy shop. Have a mat on the floor to lay out he objects on, or sit with the child at their table. One may put these objects on a tray or basket for easy handling.

- Fist period is the introduction of the object. Show the object to the child and say” This is a (name of the object)”. Then lay it on the mat or let the child touch and hold it, even smell it if possible, then repeat the name of the object. Repeat the process with the other objects. By allowing the child to feel and smell the object it makes a more concrete memory for them.

- Second period is to ask the child to point to the object that you have named. “Can you point to me the (name of the object)?” Then move the object to another place so you know the child remembers the name and not the placement of the object. This period makes the lesson more alive and interesting. You may also ask the child to move the objects to different spots on the mat.

This stage can be extended for under 3’s by asking the children to place the object that you have named ( another way of identifying if they know the name of the object) to a different area of the mat, or removing or putting it in the basket, or handing it to you. You can incorporate vocabulary words for placement such as ‘first’, ‘in front’, ‘behind’, ‘at the back’, etc.

- Third period is to ask the child to name the object as you point to it. This is mostly done with older children who can fluently talk.

The number of items may be increased depending on the challenge your child needs.

Dr. Maria Montessori Theory

Refer from : http://www.dailymontessori.com/dr-maria-montessori/

Dr. Maria Montessori then discovered the studies of Jean Itard and Edouard Seguin. They were two French doctors who believed in the education of deviated children. Maria Montessori shared the conviction that medicine was not the answer for retardation but education. She shared this idea at an 1899 pedagogical congress. As a result he became the directress of an Orthophrenic clinic (school for the mentally ill) in 1899-1901.

Dr. Maria Montessori worked tirelessly observing children, analyzing results and developing new materials. Her knowledge of children mostly originated form this 2 years of closely observing children.
Montessori’s work with these children was so successful that her children eventually passed a public examination given to ‘normal children’. It bothered her “how these normal children in ordinary schools could have been equaled in intelligence by her ill students.”

In 1901 she gave up her work in the clinic and studied philosophical education and pedagogical pathology. She was also a lecturer in the University of Rome in 1904. At this period she also continued her study of Itard and Seguin’s work. In a lecture she talked about schools which had two main points. One was that teachers should help rather than judge. She believed the teacher should be there to direct, guide and help children to learn with the attitude of love and acceptance. Secondly, she believed that true mental work is not exhausting but gives nourishment for the soul. Montessori believed in the ‘secret of childhood’ that all are born with potentials and the adult should help that potential. The adult is there to create the environment to stimulate the child and fulfill their needs.

In 1906, there opened a housing project in the district of San Lorenzo, a slum area. In Montessori’s desire to work with normal children she was given the task of taking care of the young children of this area. The parents of this area were not able to take care of their young as they had to work during the day.

Maria Montessori was given a room to take care of these children. She equipped the room with child sized tables, chairs, armchairs and materials similar to those she used in her work with the mentally ill children. She was given an assistant who had no teaching experience, which she appreciated as she tried her new methods for which a background in education would have hindered. She did not give her assistant limitations, but only showed her how to present the materials. This opened in January 1906.

In this room Maria Montessori observed children and formed her principles. She observedchild concentrating on graded wooden cylinders with such concentration that efforts to distract her were useless. And when the child had finished she seemed rested and happy. The child’s ability for deep concentration was phenomenal. She also observed the child’s need for repetition which fulfilled a child’s need. She then decided to give children the liberty to be able to accomplish their task.

Maria Montessori also observed that children had a great sense of order. Children put things back to where it belonged. Maria Montessori respected this and allowed them to do it by placing the materials in an open cupboard rather than locked cupboards as it was initially done. This paved the way for the freedom of choice for the child to choose their work. When Montessori gave a lesson on blowing the nose she received great cheer from the children. Children are always being rebuked about keeping their nose clean but no one has calmly taught them how to do it. This made her realize that even small children had a sense on personal dignity. Montessori always emphasized the respect for even the youngest child.

After all these observation and changes over 12 months that in January 1907, the room can be called “Casa dei Bambini” (Children’s House) as a classroom that we see in Montessori schools today. The fame of Maria Montessori, her children’s house and method quickly spread. Many visitors even form overseas were coming to observe these children. The Casa dei Bambini classrooms were getting attention form educators who were amazed and astonished at what the children could do.

In 1909, Montessori wrote “The Method of Scientific Pedagogy as Applied to Infant Education and the Children’s Houses”.

The Montessori Movement

As the fame of Maria Montessori and her method grew Montessori was plunged into the responsibility to further teach others of her method. She saw it as a duty on behalf of all the children in the world as a way to promote their rights and liberation. She left lecturing at the university and supported herself by training teachers and royalties form her books.

In Rome a Montessori society was started called ‘Opera Montessori’ and other similar movements began in Europe and America.

In 1914 Montessori went to America. She was welcomed by Thomas Edison and an American Montessori Society was formed with Alexander Graham Bell as its president. While in America she had a pupil, Helen Parkhurst, who arranged a glass classroom for observers to see her classrooms.

Maria Montessori’s writings were also being translated to different languages and schools were opening up worldwide in countries such as Japan, China and Canada. She was continually giving lectures around the world where she is always welcomed. She also continued her research and application of her principles to school aged and preschool aged children as well as infants from birth. Her research about the child’s early years is written in “Absorbent Mind” (1949). Alternatively she also took notice of the social possibilities based on the idea that “true education is an armament of peace”.

In 1939 she flew to India where she met Mahatma Gandhi. She was detained in India until the war finished in 1946.

Maria Montessori continued to give lectures around the world with her son Mario. He followed her footsteps and had the task of protecting the sincerity of the Montessori movement. With the spread of the Montessori Method there was a danger of her principles being misunderstood and not practiced purely according to her beliefs. She then startedAssociation Montessori Internationale in 1929.

In 1949 she addressed UNESCO where she received an ovation. She was honored with the Legione d’Honneur and received an honorary of Doctor of Philosophy from the University of Amsterdam

On May 6, 1952 in Noordwijk aan Zee in Netherlands, she passes away at the age of 81. In her tomb writes “I beg the dear all powerful children to unite with me for the building of peace in Man and in the World.”

Toilet Learning vs. Toilet Training

Refer from : 

http://www.dailymontessori.com/self-development/toilet-learning-vs-toilet-training/

Toilet learning differs from Toilet training. Child toilet training is something that is adult directed; toilet learning is when the child is involved in their own learning. Toilet training may involve a time pressure on your child which seems to be a quick fix but may have consequences. Toilet training involves an attitude of having to do it now because the adult chooses so. The difference between toilet learning and toilet training is the adult’s attitude which can make a big difference for the child.

Toilet learning starts with readiness signs, and is not learned through a reward system. Toileting is a skill that needs to be learnt. It cannot be taught overnight. The key to toilet learning is teaching not training the child. Learning on their own is reward enough for them to be able to independently help themselves in remaining clean or not soiling themselves. Allow the child to learn on their own with a bit of support and help from the adult with the use of toilet training pants and clothes they can independently put on themselves. Toilet learning is linked to the child’s self-esteem, so genuine verbal praise is important. There are no ‘accidents’ during toilet learning, only lessons. Language also plays a big part in keeping a positive attitude with toilet learning.

Adult Attitude and Points to Consider in Toilet Learning

It is important to decide if you are ready to commit to the process and all it entails, this could include loads of washing, wet or soiled carpets and what people may think if you child is not toilet ready by a certain age. More often than not it requires months of learning for the child and it is important to have and maintain a positive attitude and avoid putting a time period or the age you wish your child to be toilet trained. It is possible that children will develop manipulative actions regarding toileting (e.g. wetting self on purpose) if they believe it will affect your behavior. Every child is different and toilet ready at a different age, these are some tips to help the process and explain the rationale behind the method. However, it is up to you which toilet learning or toilet training approach you think suits you, your child and your lifestyle.

The Montessori Toilet Learning

The Montessori approach to toilet learning is to begin at birth and by using cloth nappies. Once the child is walking they transition into cloth underpants, wearing underpants at this stage in the child’s development also aids movement as nappies can be restrictive. The child will sit on the pot or small toilet when they wake in the morning, awake from naps, before and after all meals, before and after excursions and before bed. It is central to the approach that babies are kept in natural cotton or soft wool diapers or underpants. Disposable diapers/ nappies draw moisture away from the skin rapidly, whereas underpants allow the child to feel the moisture and learn to recognize the result of urinating (the wet sensation). The children then learn to associate this sensation to the result of being wet instead of conflicting results as experienced in disposable diapers/nappies.

When your child is a still young make it a habit to change their nappy when they have been soiled so he/she does not get used to the feeling of being soiled but being always clean. Soon they will be used to the clean feeling that if they are soiled they will let you know in some way.

All children are put on the potty after each nappy change. Often they feel the sensation of urinating or passing a bowel motion but don’t feel the end product because of super absorbent disposable nappies. A child is physiologically ready to use the toilet at 12 months but with the use of disposable nappies a child usually starts at two to two and a half years old. Introducing a potty as young as 12 months to just to get the child used to it as a part of toileting routine, before the power struggle starts or as we say in the under threes movement- the crisis of self-affirmation (tantrums). It doesn’t take long to associate the potty with regularly urinating once they feel the potty under their body. They are not yet toilet trained but they’re definitely going through the process of learning.

The regular use of the potty allows the children to become familiar and comfortable with both the toilet and potty. It is a positive experience and the children enjoy exploring the environment. This allows the children the freedom of movement so that they can teach themselves to move on and off the potty/toilet at their own learning pace, additionally this allows the child to be more independent.

Clothing for Toilet Learning

We recommend that all clothing be two piece set during this learning process. The bottoms should be elastic waist allowing the child to independently pull up their own trousers/skirt. Also this allows the child to pull down cloths quickly if they need to use the toilet urgently. There are toilet training pants that can be bought that are made of thick fabrics, terry toweling so the moisture is absorbed but still lets the child feel the wetness. Underwear needs to be cotton and elastic should not cut off any circulation, be sure to buy appropriate sized underwear to allow for ease of dressing the self. Plastics are plastic covers placed over underpants and are used for outdoor play they will sometimes protect clothing form getting wet but still allow the child to feel the sensation.

Toilet Learning and Language

It is important that children understand the language you use during toilet learning. Quite often there is some embarrassment in using certain words, remember to consider you attitude when interacting with children, if you are embarrassed talking about certain body part or bodily functions your child could also learn this attitude. Using the toilet is an everyday event and being comfortable explaining the process and body parts to children is important as it is a natural part of our lives. It is important to feel comfortable using adult words around children like to describe body parts and functions. This ensure that your child will not have to use ‘baby words’ (e.g. wee and poo) and demonstrates that you see your child as a capable toilet learner.

We recommend considering your language when inviting children to use the toilet always keep it clear, direct and positive, for example “You may go and sit on the toilet/ potty” if the child refuses maintain positive language “you need to sit on the toilet so that you can urinate”. Never force a child on the potty or toilet against their will or use language in a negative way saying they “must sit on the toilet”. When a child urinates on themselves try not to refer to this as an ‘accident’ tell them “you have urinated we need to sit on the potty when we urinate” making sure to sit the child on the potty after the event and change wet underpants. Always remain calm and in control of emotions model this behavior for the child.

Signs of Readiness Checklist

Physical Readiness

- Child can stay dry for longer periods of time, or overnight
- Child knows the feelings that signal he/she needs to use the bathroom
- Child can pull down own pants, and pull them up
- Child can get him or herself to the toilet

Mental and Language Readiness

- Child can follow simple directions
- Child can point to wet or soiled clothes and ask to be changed
- Child pays attention to the physical signals even when she is doing something else (a challenge for many children, which is why accidents are so common)
- Child knows the words for using the toilet, and can tell an adult when he/she needs to go
- Child has asked to wear grown-up underwear

Emotional Readiness

- Child seeks privacy when going in diaper
- Child shows interest in using the toilet-may want to put paper in and flush it
- Child shows curiosity at other people’s toilet habits
- Child has decided he/she wants to use the toilet
- Child is not afraid of the toilet

Bowel Movement Control

In toilet learning urination is often the focus; this is usually because it is a much harder skill to control liquids rather that mass. However, in many children bowel movement control occurs much later. There are many individual factors that can contribute to this including physical, emotional and mental readiness.

Bowel movement control often happens before urinary control. If they are regularly going to the toilet to urinate, chances are they may have a bowel movement while urinating.

It is for this reason that boys should preferably sit instead of stand during the first stages of toilet learning until they have mastered bowel movements. Every child is different in learning this skill; many children are aware of when they are having a BM but will often be shy in telling an adult or not know what to do. It is important to build up trust and reassure the child that everything is ok. Many children who are showing signs of readiness will want to ask questions and look at what is happening while you are changing their BM. It may be helpful to talk the child through what is happening in their bodies and include them in the process as much as possible. Many children have Bowel Movements at the same time each day; this predictability can be used as a tool in helping the child succeed in BM control. Writing a chart of times the child is likely to have a BM and looking for other signs (body posture and facial expression) can help signal that the child should sit on a potty or toilet. It also helps chart the frequency of the child’s BMs, on occasion if the child is feeling anxious about passing BMs they may hold them and become constipated.

Summary

There should be no pressure put on children to be toilet trained. Toilet learning is a natural process and should be done at a pace the child is comfortable with. Allowing children to become aware of their bodily functions from the sensitive period of development allows for less distress when the child is older and more physically able to control their toileting abilities. Please remember although the child is urinating in their underpants they are not ‘failing’ at toileting rather learning the sensation to need to go and the discomfort of having wet underpants. This is part of the learning process that is Toilet Learning.

Toileting Routine

Wake time the child is allowed to sit on the potty after the diaper/nappy is removed from the night. He/she is then put in training pants/ underpants. When the child is going outdoors, or going to the shops/mall you then might want to put on nappies/diapers for convenience. When the child gets older then maybe even for going out plastic coverings over underpants may be used. Constantly ask the child to go the toilet if they need to. Sit them on the potty when they wake in the morning, before going anywhere outside of the home, before and after sleep time and after meals. Ask them nicely, if they refuse say “You need to go to the potty”. If they are comfortable with the potty, they may refuse less often. Remember if they wet themselves, it is okay. Just reinforce to them verbally that they need to urinate on the potty or toilet. If your child is dryer for long periods of time and going to the potty on a frequent basis this can be time for you to move on the toilet learning process and fully get rid of the nappy/diaper.

Preschool Montessori Activities : Noodle Montessori Activity

5 Things Parents Shouldn't Say to Their Kids

It's no secret that parents should pay attention to how they communicate with their children.Even tiger moms and parents following theFrench style of raising children could agree that what we say to our kids -- and how we say it -- matters. Tiger moms and French parents get the results they want largely because of what they say. But besides using words to get kids to do what they want, how moms and dads communicate with their kids directly impacts the parent-child relationship long term. And it's the simple statements parents make, usually in a moment of frustration with their young children, which can cause the most damage later on. 

Related: 8 things you should never say to a mom 

"Words hurt and they can't be taken back, so be careful" says Debbie Pincus, a therapist, parenting coach and author of "The Calm Parent: AM & PM." Team Mom on Shine asked Pincus and other parenting experts about the most common phrases that moms and dads say to young kids in the midst of parental panic. Don't feel bad if you've said them -- most parents have! "We're human. Our lives are crazy and sometimes we don't give ourselves time to pause and think," she says. "We don't want to be so careful that we're not authentic. We're real. Be passionate with your kids, be real, say what's on your mind. Say it passionately. Just be conscious and responsible, no matter who we talk to." Pincus adds that calm is contagious and better things come out of our mouths when we stop ourselves from reacting in the moment. 

The bottom line is that as parents, we're teaching our kids how we want them to behave in similar situations; modeling the desired behavior is key. Check out what Pincus and others had to say about five things parents shouldn't say to kids--and how to turn a moment of frustration into a positive life lesson. 

"I don't care." Little kids love to share details...of their playground conversations with friends, of the cloud formation they think looks like a sea serpent, of why they squeezed an entire tube of toothpaste into the bathtub. And sometimes? Parents just don't want to hear the specifics. But beware of saying "I don't care!" because you're cutting off communication with your child and saying that something important to him or her isn't so important to you. "Most parents have a difficult time once children reach the adolescent stages and complain that their teens are not communicative with them. Well, the question must be asked then, 'How has the parent-child communication been nurtured throughout the child's life?'" says Melinda Garcia, a licensed clinical social worker with ESCAPE Family Resource Center in Houston. "The process of parent-child communication must evolve positively over the years. There's an unspoken trust that occurs when communication is nurtured." Try this: Garcia recommends that parents let the child know an issue can be discussed later, perhaps at a better time when the parent is more focused. She stresses, however, that parents must follow through. "Don't let the day end without addressing your child's need to share with you."
"Act your age!" 
Your daughter is seven years old but you think she's acting like she's three...and you tell her so. Pincus says this common reaction is less about the child's behavior and all about the parent trying to manage his or her own frustration. The child may, in fact, be acting their age. "It's just not working out for the parent," she says. "It makes us feel better in the moment." The result? Kids hear their parents criticizing them at a time when they, as children, are having trouble and perhaps need some help gaining control. Try this: Says Pincus, "When you are stirred up, just take that pause. Come up with an effective response instead of a reaction. Most of what we do is a knee-jerk reaction. That pause helps to get that adrenaline down so you can get the thinking part of your brain working instead of the emotional part of the brain." 

"Say you're sorry!" Your preschooler takes a toy from another child and makes him or her cry. You instantly tell your child to say sorry for his or her actions. You're trying to teach your child to be compassionate, which is a laudable goal. But "forcing a child to apologize does not teach a child social skills," says Bill Corbett, a parent educator, author, and producer/host of the parenting TV show "Creating Cooperative Kids." Young children don't automatically understand why they have to apologize. Corbett says that if parent forces a child to say they are sorry, "it could delay the child's natural acceptance" of apologizing. Try this: Apologize to the child for your kid as a way to model the behavior you're trying to encourage. And make sure that when you're in situations where an apology is warranted, you deliver it just as easily. 

"Don't you get it?" 
You've taught your kid how to catch a baseball five times over. Or how to add and subtract fractions. But when your child shows signs that it's not clicking for him or her, you hastily ask, "Don't you get it?" Learning specialist and author Jill Lauren tells Team Mom on Shine that this comment is degrading. "If the child 'got it,' which he desperately wants to do in order to please his parent, it would be clear. Implicit in a 'don't you get it' comment are the judgments of 'Why don't you get it?' followed by 'What's wrong with you for not getting it?' While a parent may not mean to send those messages, that is the message the child receives." Try this: Take a break. If you're stuck on how to teach your child something, step away. Return to the "lesson" when you're ready to try again, perhaps after researching alternative approaches to teaching whatever it is your child is trying to learn. 

"I'm going to leave without you!" 
Your kid refuses to leave the toy store or a park and you are going to be late for an appointment. So you issue an ultimatum sure to freak your child out: "I'm going to leave without you!" For young kids, fear of parental abandonment is very real. But what happens when your threat doesn't work? "The biggest problem is that we want our kids to believe what we say. For a whole host of reasons, we need our kids to believe us. If you want them to believe what we say is true, we cannot say something that is patently false," says Deborah Gilboa, a family doctor, parenting speaker, and mom of four boys. The result is that the child quickly learns that mom or dad makes empty threats. "Parents say it because they don't know what else to do...it's a bad idea," says Dr. Gilboa: "You need to strive not to make empty threats. If you plant a flag, you have to defend it...say what you mean and follow through." Try this: Don't tell your kids you're going to leave without them. Instead, plan ahead. Chances are high that you've seen your child behave this way before. You know what will trigger a tantrum. What will you say if your child throws a fit or refuses to leave? "It's okay to identify unacceptable behavior," says Dr. Gilboa. "You can tell them it's not acceptable but you have to motivate them with a consequence that you can carry out." 


Reference from : http://shine.yahoo.com/team-mom/5-things-parents-shouldnt-kids-171300904.html